Weird thing is, I woke up at 6am this morning with tears in my eyes. I had a dream about Jone. It was the so weird, but I knew something. I come to work and read an e-mail.

The only other person I knew that has passed was my father's mother. I loved her dearly and it affected me bad. I don't know how to deal with grief. When Koola died, I cried for a month, and when Nana died, I cried for months when thinking about her and I still do to this day.

I was really looking forward to seeing Jone again and to update her on everything that is going on. She would always talk with me about so many things in life. She touched my heart in a positive way and her being in hospital for the last month, saddened me. I wanted to go see her, but wasn't sure if it's my place. I just prayed she would be okay and I'd see her again.

I hope I hear about when the funeral is. I need to be there. I don't know why people that are so good in life that bring so much joy to everyone around them have to suffer with something like cancer. It angers me that bad people sometimes never have anything bad happen to them, but such a good person gets shit on. Is this what life has in store for us good people?

I'm so angry and so depressed about this whole thing. I don't know what to do or how to actually express myself. I'm just working and keeping to myself for now.

I love her so much. She'll be missed dearly. 

Oh, I forgot. It's Zareru's 3rd birthday today :D

Check out the pictures:


http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=1111040&albumId=887538

Friday, March 16, 2007

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

Saying exactly what you mean to your friends is probably the best way to get what you want today. Your words carry additional power when they are more aligned with your goals. As long as you are honest, expressing how you feel can bring you closer to others. Avoid any temptation to go for the quick fix; for now you are much better off if you focus on the future.

 

My Tarot Card for Today

The Lovers

May commitment bring out your best.

Deck: Cagliostro

More about this card

My Daily Tarot Reading

card art © US Games

Although it has taken on a strictly romantic revision of meaning in some modern decks, traditionally the Lovers card of Tarot reflected the challenges of choosing a partner. At a crossroads, one cannot take both paths. The images on this card in different decks have varied more than most, because we have had so many ways of looking at sex and relationships across cultures and centuries.

Classically, the energy of this card reminded us of the real challenges posed by romantic relationships, with the protagonist often shown in the act of making an either-or choice. To partake of a higher ideal often requires sacrificing the lesser option. The path of pleasure eventually leads to distraction from spiritual growth. The gratification of the personality eventually gives way to a call from spirit as the soul matures.

Modern decks tend to portray the feeling of romantic love with this card, showing Adam and Eve at the gates of Eden when everything was still perfect. This interpretation portrays humanity before the Fall, and can be thought to imply a different sort of choice -- the choice of evolution over perfection, or the choice of personal growth through relationship -- instead of a fantasy where everything falls into place perfectly and is taken care of without effort.

Michael in Chicago ehehehheh :D

*runs around screaming* ehehhehe

Natty on Bodhi aAhahahha

vipershardware You could add Milo to your livejournal list if you wish to. Doesn't seem he reads it much but maybe if some people add him ;)

i'm not going to denien that the weekened was a bit off... but the downer point was with Kirk.. Milo's bestfriend called me saturday night at 4am.

Freaked the fucked out of me.. Milo lucked himself in the basement and woulnd't let kirk in.. and of course Kirk had Milo's phone and was shouting through the door telling him I have to talk to him... and after about 20 mintures or so of crying finally got to talk to milo. He was so wasted took was too many valumes and he missed me and wanted to be with me so much he freaked out. He was getting hit on by all these girls at the bar but all he could think about was me.. so he drank more and more and more...

Got to Kirks and just went insane. Milo kind of remembers talking to me but not really..It freaked me out cause I wasn't there and I wasn't there to help him.. I know he needed me... but the thing is,.. I couldn't do annything.. I talked sexually to him and hoping that would help him out...

I called the next day to help him and to realize that I wasn't upsest that I only care and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I was so afraid I cried for hours... an everyone asked me what was wrong..but the thing is I care and love him so much that nothing can happen to him.

He worries about me as much and I think that is a good sign I want to marry him... we just need to make a little more money and get close together. I misss him so much and he makes me so emotional. Like uber emotional... I'm not sure why it's possible it's because of the fact that what I felt with John with Milo is so more intense.. is it because of the fact he's far away? Or is it the fact that it's right?

I feel it in my heart... I really do. John made me feel really good and I loved him.. he was my first love. and I believe that Milo is my second. I truly believe I will marry this one.

OMG I just am worried and care all in the same.. I haven't had any panic attacks so that's good... him and i seem to be seem to be on the page.. yeah... I love him so much.. makes me want to cry.

He's my baby...

i want my time and i want his time and our communicastion is awesome. We dont' assume we don't do any of that shit.. we just are honest with eachother. There are not too many secerts.. but it'll take some times for me to tell him certain thing shit like this.

Here a few pictures of the first day.. friday




Dan Paine - he's been a jaffa, super soldier and a ubber wraith



Alex Zahara was Michael in 1969 sg1 eposide, Unas, and some alien in Space Race episode and obviously more..



Cliff Simon - Baal ;)

He's fuckin hilarious! Actually with fricken Dan flexing his pecks and Simon just funny!

From this afternoon/evening.. signin ( Read more... )

This is from the Charity Breakfast with Amanda, JR and Cliff ( Read more... )

OMG there is just soo much shit to talk about.. I about died when I had the photo opt with Michael.. I asked to be on his right side and he was taking photo's with people on his left.. anyhoooo... I have a zit on the left side of my face.. so that is why I wanted to be on his right side. So I asked him this.. and he's like "yeah sure no problem, why? you have me curious to why you want to be on my right.."

( Read more... )